A client who recently had a baby told me about how flamingos - both moms and dads - lose their pink color after becoming parents. She explained it was because the toll of nurturing and nourishing their babies drains them of their pink color. It isn’t until their babies are more independent that the parents’ color starts to return.

When I heard this, I felt it so deeply in my bones.

I have a specific memory of sleeping in a king-sized bed with my newborn.

We were doing some nursing and snuggling. I would inch a little bit away from her to give her more room. She would inch closer to me. Before I knew it, I was on the edge of the bed, and my little sweetie had the majority of the bed for herself.

I couldn’t help but laugh in the moment. I still smile when I think about it.

I also recognize how this could be an example of what happens to flamingos: we give and give of ourselves to our babies, willingly and selflessly, and before we know it, we find ourselves at our limit or on the edge.

I feel like I lost my pink color long before I realized it in my first postpartum. I didn’t acknowledge the traumas and stress I experienced. I pushed through, telling everyone - and myself - I was fine. It was inevitable for the PTSD and anxiety to set in.

I am actively trying to do things differently this time.

With this being my second time around raising a newborn, I know this time is short. I also know how to take better care of myself, whether it is through prioritizing my self-care time or connecting with my support network.

While my pink color has definitely faded over the past year, it doesn’t feel completely gone this time around. I also know it will be back someday, before I know it.

Until then, I will try and soak in all these precious moments, because I know I will be longing for these moments when my girls are grown.

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