Setting Boundaries Around Food & Body

Something that I have noticed is both prevalent and important, especially when you become a parent, is the necessity of setting boundaries with others, especially family and friends. Boundaries in parenthood might look like:

- Establishing routines that you would like to be followed, such as bed time.

- Rules around screen time. 

- Ways to discipline (NOT through shaming or spanking)

**What it also might look like is setting boundaries related to food and body talk, both in front of you and in front of your children.**

Holidays are a time when you might hear people say:

- “I am so bad for eating this, but it’s the holidays! I will be good after New Year’s.”

- “I shouldn’t eat so many carbs. I am getting so fat.”

- “The diet I am on is… (and then talk incessantly about the ins and outs of said diet)”

When boundaries are established, you:

- Show love and respect for yourself.

- Are more likely to be shown respect by others.

- Are able to create stronger and more life-giving relationships.

Wow, that sounds great. So why aren’t boundaries used more?

- If boundaries were not modeled for you growing up, you may not know how.

- It may feel scary or overwhelming to set boundaries, especially having fear about how the relationship will be affected.

- You may not feel worthy of having boundaries and being treated with love and respect.

- Boundaries you may have set in the past were met with anger.

How to set boundaries around food and body:

- Stand up tall, with your shoulders back, hold your chin up, and look the person in the eyes. 

- All you need is a one sentence statement you can assert. For example: “I would appreciate it if you did not talk about food, dieting, or your body in front [of me or] my children.”

- Be a broken record. State your boundary calmly and as many times as you need to.

- If this relationship is important to you, you can also consider being gentle in how you deliver your boundary, as well as validate what the other person may be experiencing (“I hear you are feeling unhappy with your food choices, AND I would still appreciate it if you did not talk about food, dieting, or your body in front [of me or] my children.”).

- If your self-respect has priority over the relationship, stick to your values (e.g., being kind) and try not to apologize for setting the boundary.

If you are interested in identifying how your own negative core beliefs impact your ability to set boundaries, click here and subscribe for my weekly newsletter. Then you can get access to my FREE guide, What’s Holding You Back?: 10 Common Limiting Beliefs in Parenthood!