Breaking Generational Cycles

Yesterday, I talked about generational cycles, and how they are behaviors, patterns, beliefs, etc. that get passed down from generation to generation; can be positive/helpful and negative/unhelpful; and are most often done unconsciously or automatically. 

Now you may be wondering, how do I become aware of these cycles and how do I change them? What I have noticed in my work with many of my clients in my private psychotherapy practice is the power of becoming aware of one’s own negative core beliefs, or limiting beliefs. 

Examples of limiting beliefs I have worked with include:

• “I’ll be abandoned” (e.g., “If I express my wants or feelings, people will leave me.”)

• “I’m unimportant” (e.g., “People only ask about the baby. I don’t matter.”)

• “It is unsafe to feel” (e.g., “I was sent to my room when I had big emotions… My emotions are too much for people.”)

• “I’m not good enough” (e.g., “No matter what I do, I feel it is never enough.”)

These limiting beliefs typically develop during the early stages of childhood, most often between birth and 17-years-old. It is also common to have the same, or similar, core beliefs as your parents. 

I believe identifying your limiting beliefs is the first step in acknowledging where you may be playing a part in repeating generational cycles. Then, once you have your limiting beliefs identified, you can start to learn how they have impacted you through your life, as well as recognize how you can move forward with more helpful, adaptive beliefs.