Anger in Postpartum & Parenthood

According to the Dialectical Behavior Therapy approach, we have 10 emotions hardwired into our biology.

This includes anger.

So, why and when do we feel anger?

When we feel:

-A boundary has been violated

-Something feels unfair or unequal

-An important goal is blocked, or a desired activity is interrupted or prevented. 

In postpartum and parenthood, as see this look like:

-People not respecting your wishes, such as washing their hands before touching your baby.

-Feeling like your life changed more after having a baby than your partner’s.

-Wanting to sleep so badly, and not having to get the rest you need.

So, what do you do when you feel intense anger in postpartum and parenthood?

Take a time out for YOU.

Take time to relieve your nervous system, such as:

Deep breathing, with a longer exhale than inhale

Go for a 5-minute walk

Hold ice cubes in your hands, or put an ice pack on your forehead

Do 20 fast push ups against a wall

Practice a progressive muscle relaxation guided meditation

Cry

Call a mama or parent friend, who can understand what you are going through

Sing (ideally loudly) while taking a shower

You are feeling anger for a reason. It is OK to feel anger.

And it is important to take care of yourself when you feel such a heavy emotion.