Disorganized Attachment in Postpartum & Parenthood

How does a person develop a disorganized attachment?

-You had a parent whose behavior was often overwhelming, frightening, and chaotic.

-You experienced a biological paradox, called ‘fright without solution’, where you felt frightened of your parent, while also wanting to seek closeness with your parent in order to feel soothed.

-This attachment style is often seen with those who experienced childhood abuse, and often occurs when the parents have their own unresolved trauma.

So, what does this attachment style look like in postpartum and parenthood?

-You notice sudden shifts in your body where you feel ‘dysregulated’. Oftentimes, other people around you can sense this shift, and it may feel alarming to a child.

-You notice a strong desire to disengage when you feel these sudden shifts within yourself. 

If you are resonated with this, and you are wondering how you can work towards a secure attachment style, please know…

Attachment is not fixed. You can work towards a secure attachment.

We are not destined to repeat the patterns of our parents or of our past.

If you have a disorganized attachment, working with a trauma therapist can help you make sense of - and heal from - your past.

Having an understanding of our attachment styles and why they evolved can help us to make the first steps in breaking generational cycles and creating new patterns in your family, moving forward.