Avoidant Attachment in Postpartum & Parenthood

How does a person develop an avoidant attachment?

-You had a parent who was repeatedly unavailable and rejecting of you, so you had to adapt by avoiding closeness and emotional connection with your parent.

-Your parent most-likely grew up in an ‘emotional desert’ with their own parents, and attunement and connection was not modeled for them (i.e., so they are unable to do so with you).

So, what does this attachment style look like in postpartum and parenthood?

-You may become easily irritated, angry, or overwhelmed with your child’s big feelings.

-You don’t like to receive help from others, see yourself as ‘independent’, and often feel disconnected from others.

If you are resonated with this, and you are wondering how you can work towards a secure attachment style, please know…

Attachment is not fixed. You can work towards a secure attachment.

We are not destined to repeat the patterns of our parents or of our past.

2 healing steps that can begin this process include:

-Having an understanding of our attachment styles and why they evolved can help us to make the first steps in breaking generational cycles and creating new patterns in your family, moving forward.

-Doing activities that stimulate your feeling brain - such as guided imagery and yoga - can help you stimulate that side of your brain.

Why? If you have an avoidant attachment, you most likely have an overactive thinking (left-side) brain, and an underactive feeling (right-side) brain. You most likely had to adapt to this in order to escape uncomfortable feelings in your body.